AN INCOHERENT DREAM

1

A multi-dimensional object that is, in shape and movement, part digital glitch and part sea urchin. It’s a shade of deep, massive gloss black. Darker than black, darker than death. It’s the color black that makes a noise like a planet collapsing. It’s shape is eating itself and exploding outwards, broiling tumultuously.  You’re a mile above the massive city, with sky scrapers reaching to the sky like hope, looking down with no body, watching it roll sky-scraper tall, into the center of the neon night, shanghai future. It’s here-but-not-here, it’s in a layer directly on top of a lay person’s run of the mill 3-dimensions, visible to you, real to you, but not manifested as such. This is good because otherwise everyone would be dead.

 

2

An underground environment lit by fluorescent lighting, Parisian subway tiles on the wall. It’s here, with you, bus sized. This time, manifested. Everyone is not dead yet. You and your team—team spelled “family,” as you’ve been through it all together, like that one time you barely pulled it off at the last minute to stop that nearly world-ending debacle, last month—and all of you and it are sharing in the same realities, so you all have bodies and associated delicacies. It came here to fight you. Luckily, you’re a goddamn weapon, and you’re carrying one too (something very Japanese, with a sleek energy that is definitely for killing), and you unsheath with style. Obviously, you’re here to scrap, for honor or mankind or whatever. It’s not important for what specifically, but what is important is that you’re gonna fucking win, because this is what you’re made for. You’re something like the son of a fallen god, and you’re ready to fuck shit up.

 

It pops into a million spikes and then inhales itself into a smooth wave and then breaks into a digital mass and then it freezes as a voluminous scream, a dark-matter Rorschach. Before you have time to move, deeper than the oceans, deeper a man lost in the crushing abyss space, deeper than the tomb of God closing shut

 

YOU CONTINUE TO JUSTIFY YOUR OWN FLAWS THROUGH A DESIRE TO BE YOUR OWN ANTIHERO DESPITE KNOWING THAT IT HURTS THOSE WHO CARE FOR YOU

 

you yell a battle cry and with the smooth ease of an athlete

 

WHAT MEANINGFUL AND POSITIVE IMPACT DO YOU HAVE ON THE WORLD AT LARGE THAT’S UNIQUE TO YOUR EXISTENCE

 

in shock, the world blurring, screams echoing

 

YOU SAY NEXT TIME EVERY TIME BUT STILL LASH OUT AT THOSE WHO CARE FOR YOU DUE TO YOUR MEDIOCRITY

 

your teammates kill themselves

 

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE DISPARITY BETWEEN YOUR AMBITION AND YOUR INADEQUACY

 

you alone stand determined

 

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY

 

you fall to your knees

 

3

A moment later. You look at your lethally-Japanese-but-also-futuristic-looking-ass weapon, it’s important end on your temple, and realize that it’s useless. This is gonna be different than before. You pull the trigger.

FUCK YEAH RECURSION

A Function to Un-Nest Nested Structures in MATLAB

So I’m flying back from Shanghai right now, (youalreadyknow it’s business class) and I decided to business-expense-splurge for the in-flight wifi, which is about as fast as a snail in the process of peacefully passing away. This means the only scrap of entertainment I can garner from my laptop is writing code in MATLAB. Writing fuckaround code in a pretend programming language in a rickety IDE has a provided surprising source of succor; if you were here you’d know it too because you’d notice I have been sitting FOR HOURS WITHOUT MY SEATBELT ON because I was simply too enraptured by the alternating tides of hate and happiness that MATLAB so easily exerts on the user.

Basically, I’m working on a GUI that allows a user to programmatically  create test limits for test data, while also allowing the user to efficiently adjust the limits where our absurd test data manages to invalidate centuries of statistical knowledge. This requires allowing the user to load a specific test from within an absurdly packaged data file which comes from a test system written by someone who clearly much prefers obfuscating and hiding things over effective data collection WHICH in turn means deeply and variably nested structures. Like 400-megabyte-CSV, stuck-in-limbo-with-Leonardio-DiCaprio, booger-that-you-can-feel-but-after-several-embarrassing-red-lights-you-cannot-remove levels deep.

Therefore, after careful perusal of mathworks, I wrote the following code. It uses recursion to return an array of strings describing each and every branch of a struct, down to the twig. It is surely my greatest accomplishment thus far.

function allfields=fieldnamesr(struct);
% FIELDNAMESR recursively explores the depths of nested structs To find all
% possible branches
%      fuck yeah recursion
fields=fieldnames(struct); %are there any field names?
idx=1; %increment variable
for i=1:1:size(fields,1) %for all field names
    if isstruct(struct.(fields{i})) %see if that field name itself is a structure 
        temp=structRecurrr(struct.(fields{i})); %if also structure, then we must go deeper!
        for j=1:1:length(temp) %for all returned values 
        allfields{idx,1}=sprintf('%s.%s',fields{i},temp{j}); %return a string containing returned values
        idx=idx+1; %increment
        end
    else
        allfields{idx}=fields{i}; %if field name not struct, then we are at bottom level
        idx=idx+1; %increment
    end
end